Actually, if you believe that the universe is infinite, then EVERYTHING is the center of the universe. Including iguanas. I don't believe this, though. If I did, I'd be believing a pretty crazy paradox.
I was too busy to speak today! How does that even happen?
Here's how:
1.) You start doing something. (Say... Mopping the roof.)
2.) You keep doing that something. (Your roof refuses to abide to the authority of your mopping skills.)
3.) You realize that there is a ton of other stuff you've gotta get done, but you're not finished with your first task. (Oh, no! You also need to trim the dishes, scrub the lightbulbs, and sprint across a pool for an hour!)
4.) You start to freak out. (ARGH!!!!! My mop is being attacked by and adorable kitten-on-the-roof!)
5.) You remember events that are going to take place AFTER everything is finished. (Oh, snap... I've got to write a "Happy Wednesday" card to the guy I like, 'cause we're going on a date! And I'm going to visit Portugal tomorrow! I've got to pack!)
6.) Someone starts telling you that you're doing the job wrong. ("Hey! Quit playing with that adorable kitten-on-the-roof and keep mopping!")
7.) You get frustrated. (Grr.)
8.) You yell. (GRR!!)
9.) Your vocal chords snap, and you have to go to the hospital or something. (...)
10.) The world comes to an end, meaning you no longer exist physically. Therefore, you cannot speak. You are too busy to speak. (This is a little ridiculous, now...)
Well, there you have it. For a small portion of today, I was too busy to speak.
Oh, and the Foam Cabinet gave me a cupcake.
Life's good.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Disappearances
THE TEAL FLIP-FLOP IS GONE!!!!
But at least the Beach Boys are playing today. "Help me Rhonda, YEAH! Get her outta my heart!"
I opened the Foam Cabinet the second I got up today. I found two things. One of them is gone already. That glorious glass full of succulent, rich, luscious chocolate milk... is also gone. To expand your knowledge of my favorites, my favorite drink is milk, and my favorite food is chocolate.
'Nuff said.
I did say that there were two things in the Foam Cabinet this morning.
The second thing is a little black box.
With a secret weapon inside!
A secret ghost-slaying weapon, that is.
That's about all I can say about this little box. Oh, wait! There is one more thing I can say about it:
The black box shall soon disappear!
But at least the Beach Boys are playing today. "Help me Rhonda, YEAH! Get her outta my heart!"
I opened the Foam Cabinet the second I got up today. I found two things. One of them is gone already. That glorious glass full of succulent, rich, luscious chocolate milk... is also gone. To expand your knowledge of my favorites, my favorite drink is milk, and my favorite food is chocolate.
'Nuff said.
I did say that there were two things in the Foam Cabinet this morning.
The second thing is a little black box.
With a secret weapon inside!
A secret ghost-slaying weapon, that is.
That's about all I can say about this little box. Oh, wait! There is one more thing I can say about it:
The black box shall soon disappear!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Finally!
A Quest of Minuscule Proportions
After much turmoil, confusion, and blank-mindedness, I started to forget reality. As I mentioned earlier, I stepped into the Foam Cabinet, was trapped, then was introduced to a new, unfamiliarly familiar world. I realize that I've been vague in my description of this world, and I apologize. There really is nothing to describe.
I met a new person, and his name was Carlos. He guided me through this strange place, but because of his presence, I could pay attention to nothing else. I could not describe his appearance if it could save my life, but he had all the qualities of one who might possibly have been in love with me.
For the entirety of my quest inside the realm of the Foam Cabinet, I was focused on only one thing at a time. Eventually, I became blinded from everything else but Carlos. He told me everything I wanted to know. Gradually, I realized that Carlos was actually real. Nothing else in the world made sense but Carlos.
Then, confusion crept back into my mind.
I started to question where I was. I started to look beyond the ever-present Carlos, and began to see that something else was out there, but I couldn't see what it was. This is where the panic starts. I ran desperately to the only thing that made sense: The Foam Cabinet. When I found the Foam Cabinet, the Foam Cabinet was covered in holes and muck. I tried to open the Foam Cabinet. I succeeded, but the task was tedious; I was afraid to let the Foam Cabinet crumble.
When I opened the Foam Cabinet, there was nothing inside. I was still in panic mode, for no obvious reason, and when I looked back, Carlos was staring at me. Begging me to stay. It may sound crazy, but the only way to get myself to look away from him was to imagine him like this:
It worked! I stepped into the Foam Cabinet, and shut the door as hard as I could.
Nothing happened.
I waited.
And waited.
Finally, I couldn't take the waiting much longer. I opened the door to the Foam Cabinet with vigorous frustration. Instantly, I was calmed.
I could SEE again! There was a sun! There was a sky! There were trees! My senses came back with astounding clarity.
You may be wondering, what was the point of this? Why is this so confusing? What was the quest?
You see, I started feeding the flesh. When I stepped into the Foam Cabinet, I was breaking important boundary lines between the real spirit and the dreaming mind. Carlos was my distraction, keeping me away from reality as long as possible. I cannot explain what the Foam Cabinet is, but trying to get more out of it, I was greeted by lust, confusion, and uncertainty.
And because there is no sense in confusion, there was no way to explain it, either. Therefore, my explaining has been confusing. Simple, really...
My quest is now to discover. To notice. To wonder, and be awed.
To call it minuscule is a contradicting understatement.
Things like cats, brothers, geese, and bridges are now astounding developments to me.
They're simply incredible!
Now I can return to the normal opening of the Foam Cabinet, and report what I find; no strings attached. Sorry for taking so long to get out of my haze.
Now, one thing I must mention, before I go off to explore new horizons or something:
I'm not just watching; I'm observing.
Scary thought, isn't it?
Oh, and there's a teal flip-flop on my floor.
And a spoon. And a tape-dispenser. And a shoelace. And a Popsicle stick. And ANOTHER shoelace! And a cleat.
This comes not from the Foam Cabinet, but straight from the sights of Cale Josten.
Finally, I hope you've figured this out by now: My name isn't actually Cale Josten... Which means that Carlos isn't REALLY Carlos.
Just so you know. ;)
After much turmoil, confusion, and blank-mindedness, I started to forget reality. As I mentioned earlier, I stepped into the Foam Cabinet, was trapped, then was introduced to a new, unfamiliarly familiar world. I realize that I've been vague in my description of this world, and I apologize. There really is nothing to describe.
I met a new person, and his name was Carlos. He guided me through this strange place, but because of his presence, I could pay attention to nothing else. I could not describe his appearance if it could save my life, but he had all the qualities of one who might possibly have been in love with me.
For the entirety of my quest inside the realm of the Foam Cabinet, I was focused on only one thing at a time. Eventually, I became blinded from everything else but Carlos. He told me everything I wanted to know. Gradually, I realized that Carlos was actually real. Nothing else in the world made sense but Carlos.
Then, confusion crept back into my mind.
I started to question where I was. I started to look beyond the ever-present Carlos, and began to see that something else was out there, but I couldn't see what it was. This is where the panic starts. I ran desperately to the only thing that made sense: The Foam Cabinet. When I found the Foam Cabinet, the Foam Cabinet was covered in holes and muck. I tried to open the Foam Cabinet. I succeeded, but the task was tedious; I was afraid to let the Foam Cabinet crumble.
When I opened the Foam Cabinet, there was nothing inside. I was still in panic mode, for no obvious reason, and when I looked back, Carlos was staring at me. Begging me to stay. It may sound crazy, but the only way to get myself to look away from him was to imagine him like this:
It worked! I stepped into the Foam Cabinet, and shut the door as hard as I could.
Nothing happened.
I waited.
And waited.
Finally, I couldn't take the waiting much longer. I opened the door to the Foam Cabinet with vigorous frustration. Instantly, I was calmed.I could SEE again! There was a sun! There was a sky! There were trees! My senses came back with astounding clarity.
You may be wondering, what was the point of this? Why is this so confusing? What was the quest?
You see, I started feeding the flesh. When I stepped into the Foam Cabinet, I was breaking important boundary lines between the real spirit and the dreaming mind. Carlos was my distraction, keeping me away from reality as long as possible. I cannot explain what the Foam Cabinet is, but trying to get more out of it, I was greeted by lust, confusion, and uncertainty.
And because there is no sense in confusion, there was no way to explain it, either. Therefore, my explaining has been confusing. Simple, really...
To call it minuscule is a contradicting understatement.
Things like cats, brothers, geese, and bridges are now astounding developments to me. They're simply incredible!
Now I can return to the normal opening of the Foam Cabinet, and report what I find; no strings attached. Sorry for taking so long to get out of my haze.
Now, one thing I must mention, before I go off to explore new horizons or something:
I'm not just watching; I'm observing.
Scary thought, isn't it?
Oh, and there's a teal flip-flop on my floor.
And a spoon. And a tape-dispenser. And a shoelace. And a Popsicle stick. And ANOTHER shoelace! And a cleat.
This comes not from the Foam Cabinet, but straight from the sights of Cale Josten.
Finally, I hope you've figured this out by now: My name isn't actually Cale Josten... Which means that Carlos isn't REALLY Carlos.
Just so you know. ;)
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