To Carry Out A Threat

After much pondering and searching and Googleing, the Foam Cabinet has not yet returned. I know the Foam Cabinet cares for me and stuff, so I've decided to post scary images in case the Foam Cabinet happens to be stalking me.



Advance with caution! If you do not like guns or chains or dead things or Super Why, I highly advise you to look no further. Unless you are the Foam Cabinet.










I warned the audience, so if you get freaked out it's your fault, not mine.










Dear the Foam Cabinet.
My heart will cease beating if you do not return.

Why will I stop living? This is why. This is what will happen if you do not come back!

Without my life, this whole world (actually, only the blog) will rebel into Anarchy!

I know you don't want that. If you do, however, I will carve you into the burning flames you want to be, WITH MY BARE HANDS, like this eraser who misbehaved...

If you don't respond to my pleas, I will send THEM after you. All of them.

Don't worry. You shall return.

Very soon.

Sincerely,
Cale Josten






Thus ends the scary stuff. It was necessary, I assure you.








I am pretty certain that the Foam Cabinet will come back now. I will then tell you all what the heck the Foam Cabinet was doing absent in the first place. It had better be worth all this trauma!

Baby, Come Back!

My apologies, dearest children. (Don't argue that you're older than me; we are all kids.) I misplaced the Foam Cabinet. I was meaning to post as soon as I found the Foam Cabinet, but the Foam Cabinet has yet to show. I think the Foam Cabinet is getting tired of things relating to me.


I think the Foam Cabinet is fed up with:

-The scent of vanilla on my skin. (Perhaps the Foam Cabinet has vanilla allergies.)


-My ever growing fiery red hair. (Perhaps the Foam Cabinet no longer recognizes me!)


-An abundance of disturbing images on my skin. (Perhaps the Foam Cabinet thinks I'm a maniac who will grow up to become a serial killer.)


-The friends I keep company with. (Perhaps the Foam Cabinet misses SoccerBoy#13, Tweety Bird, the WRHS posse, and all Georgians big and small. After all, the carbon-based life forms here are quite the wackos.)


-Being used. (Perhaps the Foam Cabinet doesn't appreciate being opened and talked about all the time.)


That all being said, I think I'll make it clear that if the Foam Cabinet does not return in due time, I will construct a contraption with hubcaps, rope, windshield wipers, and railroad spikes, among other various object found in Washington State.

(That was a threat, Foam Cabinet...)